Tuesday, 28 July 2009

money rears its ugly head.

Theres been some wedding dilemmas going on chez us overnight. We started tackling the problem of entertainment the other day. This is the part that scares us most (or at least me) because we are not party throwers extraordinaire, and dancing is like a phobia to me. I got this fear from my dad I think. I don't want to be like this, I'd love to shake my booty like beyonce (and I've got plenty booty to shake) but I a) don't have the confidence, and were someone to drag me out onto the dancefloor, I would actually just sit down in the middle of the floor. Its irrational I know, but that's what I'm like. Its not exactly what James would say was his favourite pastime. Please don't think we are complete losers, (especially you Peonies since you have to spend the day here!) we just like relaxed funtime drinks and eats, rather than mad dancing.

That's rather why we liked our reception venue, there isn't a prescribed dance floor, waiting yawningly for us to get up onto it. We do, however, totally realise that as my family are travelling from the other end of the country, we can't just tell them to sod off at 7pm. (that and we wouldn't get to stay in the hotel after!) So in my mind it looks rather like a sort of jazz club, with some relaxed music playing from a 3-piece in the corner, with a few people dancing away (that aren't me!) and other people sitting around chatting and enjoying themselves.

I contacted - and by contacted i mean looked for in costas every day for a month, and then ran into him on the street when I had given up hope - a friend who used to do live music nights at the pub I worked in, to see if he could do anything akin to what we'd been hoping for, and he can, it turns out. In fact he suggested it before I'd had time to say it myself.

Then I had one of my day to day panics - its my favourite pastime - that the venue might not be able to have live entertainment. I don't know why I had this panic, it was fairly stupid thinking about it, but still. The basic response I got was that if you're not having a marquee (we weren't) then music is usually played on a hifi. er, no thank you. So we thought we'd go for a marquee. Then my mum audibly baulked at the word marquee this morning. So I had another panic, and rang the venue again. She was right to baulk. have you ever contemplated hiring one of them?! I'm in the wrong job. seriously. Which i could have told you anyway, but that's another story. At a ball park figure, it worked out more to hire a fully decked out marquee than it is to hire out the entire hotel for the night, and feed 70 guests, and to stay there, and have breakfast the next morning?!?! WHAT? I need to get me some tents.

So we're not having a marquee. If any of you have actually got to this point, I'm sure you'll be sighing an audible sigh of release on behalf of my mother, who I'm sure you'd like to know has escaped that heart attack the idea of a marquee was close to giving her. We must have sounded like really naive idiots for thinking they were an affordable addition to a wedding, ( I might add that these are stunning gorgeous fully heated draped carpeted marquees, but still) but for about 12 hours, we were happy with this idea because it meant we could invite more friends to the evening reception. That ideas been scrapped though, and potentially replaced with just inviting those friends and others to a party at home after the wedding (if I wasn't a partyer before I will be after this friggin wedding). i do sort of like the idea of a party though, as it gives me the chance to do all those DIY decorations that it annoys me I can't do for the wedding itself.

Back to the band. When I spoke to the venue lady this morning, during the conversation where I tried to keep my cool while being quoted redonkulous amounts for tents, she also let me know that it is possible to have the band in the bar room, dependant on numbers. So we're sort of back to where we started now. we can have a band, we don't have to have a marquee. whoop de doo. seriously. thats 24 hours of panic and worry I needn't have had...


  1. Hey Rebecca,

    Isn't the price of marquees awful?! We're getting married in a garden next year and frankly, if it rains we can put our brollies up (then retreat indoors)... Anyway, it's your party and you can dance, or not, as you wish. Neither of my brothers had "first dances" and I didn't miss them at all. I think it's great if you wish to do it, it can be very moving and romantic but I think we'll just get a musican or two and keep any ass-shaking disorganised. Nothing worse than a DJ futilely trying to "get the party started"... erk.

  2. I was kind of giggling by the time I got to the end of your post, the number of days I spent in a complete panic over things that I need not have panicked over when we were wedding planning was quite extraordinary.

    And your evening plans sound just like ours. We don't dance (well, I quite like a boogie but the husband Does Not Dance. In fact all I need to do is mention the word 'dancing' to him and he has a panic attack, literally. Something to do with PE classes in school I think. Anyway, I digress...)

    We don't dance and we were only having 40 guests and the venue didn't have a dance floor so we didn't hire a band which really didn't go down well with my family (on hearing that we weren't having dancing my uncle said to my mum 'what does she expect us to do? Sit around and talk amongst ourselves?' um, yeah.) Instead we had an ipod with our favourite songs, incredibly large speakers, a shit load of homemade booze and a large pile of cake and it was brilliant. It turns out that our families and our friends were quite happy to talk amongst themselves and really enjoyed it in the end.

    So, no. I don't think you're a complete loser, I think you sound just like us!

    And marquees are insanely expensive. Some snobby part of me thought that a big tent was a bit of a cheapy option, until we looked into hiring one.

  3. Oh thank you both :) Peonies, I love that your family were horrified to SPEND.TIME.WITH.EACH.OTHER. honestly. whatever next. I don't mind the idea of an Ipod playlist, but for some reason I feel like we need a focal point of some kind so that everytime we change rooms in the place theres something new going on. like
    oh, we've arrived, lets have a drink, catch up with people and mingle.
    oh dinners served, lets have dinner.
    oh cake. YUM.
    oh food is done, theres a band.
    also love that every time I feel I'm writing absolute cobblers on here, someone comes back and tells me they did exactly the same thing.